Telling the Truth

A friend of mine has been having relationship issues lately. Over and over she's explained said issues to me, and how hard it is; so much harder than she ever thought it would be. And I try to help the best I can. And tonight something clicked in my head and was solidified that is not only true for her situation, but I believe is beneficial to any and all relationships between human-kind.

I know that, as girls, we have a tendency to feel guilty for a lot of things that we shouldn't. Frankly, we feel guilty for just about everything and every possible little thing that goes wrong is always our fault. And a lot of times we also feel this need to make people happy. Many of us are willing to let our own happiness dwindle if it means we may brighten another's day and make their life easier. We're willing to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of another, especially for a loved one. And this has become the problem in my friends life.

She has been so eager and hopeful to make her spouse happy that she has sugar coated what she really feels. She tells him what he wants to hear, and what she wishes was true. And she does it because she never wants to disappoint him. She sacrifices her own happiness in hopes that he will be happy. With tears in her eyes, she simply said, "But I just want to be happy."

Here's the funny thing about wanting to be happy but also sugar coating things; sugar coating means you're not telling the whole truth. By not telling the whole truth, that means you're lying. Lying is a type of sin. Sinning is wickedness. And as Alma 41:10 says, "Wickedness never was happiness." Simple solution (though it's never easy) is to tell the truth. And not just the truth, but the whole truth. Don't keep secrets from loved ones; that's how tangled webs are woven. And in the end, the other always wants to know why you didn't just tell the truth in the first place.

I've noticed this a lot in my own life. Every time I half heartedly give the partial truth to my loved one, and in the end tell him the whole truth of what I really feel in some heated conversation, he exasperatedly asks why I didn't just tell him all of that to begin with so we could correct the issue when it began. And frankly I ask him the same thing quite frequently. We've gotten much better at this and have found that just telling the truth makes everything easier. Being honest. Not sugar coating things. It just works. Alma knew what he was talking about; wickedness never was happiness, even something as simple as sugar coating the truth and telling little white lies.

Happiness

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of that candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.-Buddha
I really do love the fact that truth is found everywhere. There is good in this world, far beyond the reaches of just what is taught in the Gospel. Truth can be found anywhere; in other faiths, in other countries, and in all kinds of people.
This statement is truth. So share that happiness you have with the rest of the world. You gain so much more by doing so.

Lately.

I have had far too much time to think and contemplate things in my life recently. Here are some of the things that have made a difference lately.

"God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr"

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."--Joseph B. Wirthlin

2nd Nephi 4:27-28

 27And why should I ^ayield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to ^btemptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my ^cpeace and afflict my soul? Why am I^dangry because of mine enemy?

 28Awake, my soul! No longer ^adroop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the ^benemy of my soul.

I honestly cannot express the amount of joy and peace these things have given me recently. For whenever I feel in the depths of pain and self wallowing because of things I do wrong, and how I never add up to perfection, this is where I find the strength to go on. This is where I find the peace to keep pushing forward. And I am so grateful that God is always near, because truly, He is.

Friendship

Can anyone really define this word? I know the dictionary tries, but "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard" and "a person who is on good terms with another; a person who isnot hostile" just doesn't do it justice, ya know? I had to learn the hard way what being a friend really is.

About a month ago, I had quite the run in with 3 of my best friends. I mean I've griped about things that have happened between us all before, just like with any other friend; no one is perfect and yet many of us get annoyed when they're not. As if we are. And well, we had a falling out of sorts, and it didn't end happily.

Tonight however, I got to thinking about them. I still looked at their facebooks via other people's to see how they were doing, what they were saying etc frequently, and tonight I just started to feel guilty. Horribly guilty. And I realized something; I am a crappy friend.

And that's when I figured it out. Being a friend isn't just doing things with someone. It's not just checking their facebook and stalking everything they say, or texting them to ask how they're doing. It's not just caring about them to a small degree; if that were the case, every person on this world would be my friend, because I have a tendency to care about everyone; even those who hurt me, abuse me, are rude to me and so forth. No, that's not friendship.

Friendship is:

Baking them cookies on a bad day.

Praying for them.

Forgiving them when they do do something you expect them not to.

Doing stupid things together.

Actually hanging out.

Texting genuinely, not "hey", "what's up" or "how you doin?"

Actually talking. Over the phone; or, heaven forbid, face to face.

Caring about someone more than yourself, because friendship is love.

I had to learn this the hard way. I had to learn that I was not really being any of those things, so I don't know why I expected it from any of them. Be someone you would want to be around, otherwise, why would anyone want to be around you?

I hope you just remember to cherish the friendships you have. Don't just try finding new ones day in and day out and let the old friendships fall to the wayside. Keep what you have, don't just continue looking for more, more, more. There's something beautiful in the here and now; enjoy it. 

Greek, Aramaic and Other Semitic Languages

I must tell you about how much I love words. I love finding new words and their meanings, along with their meanings in other languages and how even translations never do a word justice. Anyway, in my New Testament class this semester, we've talked a lot about Greek and Hebrew and Aramaic. Here's some of what I've learned, and loved because it has helped my understanding of things. If you don't know, Aramaic is the language that was spoken by Jesus, though few speak it now.

Hebrew/Aramaic/Arabic

كفارة (kafara-as close as I can get with rough translations, this is Arabic however): This is the word used for the Atonement. 

כפרה (kafar-[I'm pretty sure] Hebrew): Atonement. Which could also be translated as to cover, or to forgive.

Kafat (Aramaic-not sure about writing): Atonement or full embrace

Greek

πορνια (pornia): pornography. The root of this heinous plague goes back to Greek. Makes so much sense to me now.

εδεεμ (redem): To redeem. This was used with slaves, when one was buying back a slave. 

εξιλέωση (exielosi): Atonement or expiation. Expiation is to make amends. Guilt is said to be expiated when it is visited with punishment falling on a substitute. Expiation is made for our sins when they are punished not in ourselves but in another who consents to stand in our room.

ομολογώ (homologo): To confess, also to promise, to covenant.

Basically what this is meaning is that sometimes, translations are a bit hazy in the Bible. Some words were used, while others could have and should have been. The word "atonement" is only used once in the entire Bible, yet as Mormons, we believe so fully and so much on the atonement. Instead other words are used, when oftentimes "atonement" should have been. So keep that in mind the next time you're reading from the bible. Translations are next to never perfect; each word, although being translated at the best ability possible, still don't have quite the same meaning when going from one language to another. Slight meanings change, and sometimes it's those slight meanings that, in fact, change the entire meaning of a passage.

And something I want to say about the word "redeem." As I stated, it was used when termed with buying back a slave. Why then is Christ considered our Redeemer? Might I pose a suggestion to that. We all are in a carnal state of mind, that's just life. We are in a state that we cannot help but be carnal and devilish and whatnot, because that is what fallen man is, unless he curbs his appetites and comes unto God. But we all still makes mistakes. So my proposition is this: We all are slaves to sin, slaves to the devil and this carnal nature. But Christ, our Redeemer, is ready, and willing, to buy is back. Not only ready and willing, but He already did, whether you agree to accept it or not.

Just some food for thought.

Temples: The Covenants and Ordinances

I had to write a paper on any topic of my choice and find out all that I could that the Prophet Joseph Smith had told us about it. After turning that portion of it in, I decided I wanted to expand on it. I now have a 7 page paper, which is still not even close to finished. And might I just say, I love the temple.
Here are some of the few great things I've learned and now have answers for when people say that the temple is so "hush hush" and we do some crazy things there. If you know where to look, you can find out so much, and it's so wonderful and glorious and enlightening.



From President Brigham Young: "Let me give you a definition in brief. Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the House of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angles who stand as sentinels, being able to give them the key words, the signs and tokens, pertaining to the holy Priesthood, and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell (Discourses of Brigham Young, 416)."

Many do not understand the urgency and importance of a temple marriage. To them, it seems like it’s just “a good thing to do” but not a requirement. They believe that somehow, they can do a wedding and ceremony so much better than what the temple has to offer. However, as Elder Kofford of the Seventy once said: "They simply do not understand. You cannot improve on the Lord’s way. It was planned by Him. The ordinance is His. The authority is His. The words are His, and the house is His. Who would dare to compare the tinsel of the temporal with the gold of God?" There is nothing more perfect, nothing more sacred, than a sealing of a husband and wife together for time and all eternity; to have children born within that covenant and bound together forever by the Priesthood of God. What more could someone want than to be with their spouse and children for not only this life, but the world to come?

John A. Widtsoe stated: "We live in a world of symbols. We know nothing, except by symbols. We make a few marks on a sheet of paper, and we say that they form a word, which stands for love, or hate, or charity, or God or eternity. The marks may not be very beautiful to the eye. No one finds fault with the symbols on the pages of a book because they are not as mighty in their own beauty as the things which they represent. We do not quarrel with the symbol G-o-d because it is not very beautiful, yet represents the majesty of God. We are glad to have symbols, if only the meaning of the symbols is brought home to us. I speak to you tonight; you have not quarreled very much with my manner of delivery, or my choice of words; in following the meaning of the thoughts I have tried to bring home to you, you have forgotten words and manner. …We live in a world of symbols. No man or woman can come out of the temple endowed as he should be, unless he has seen, beyond the symbol, the mighty realities for which the symbols stand. (“Temple Worship,” page 62.)"

Each of these symbols has great meanings. A Star of David, for instance. Many are curious as to why Mormons have a Jewish symbol placed on their temples and other such places. This is because they do not understand the symbol and what it truly means, behind the thing it is called. As many scholars and historians have dug deeper into religious meanings, they have found some truths about these symbols. The triangle which points upward is a representation of man, while the downward triangle is representative of woman. The way that it is intertwined together is to show how husband and wife must be with each other. They are not one without the other, but they are together in bond and purpose. (I'll add more to this later, I just don't have the book with me that has this information at the moment.)

The point is this; go to the temple. Go to the temple often. Prepare spiritually and allow yourself to be enlightened by what God is willing to share with us. We need the temple and the covenants and ordinances performed therein. There’s no truer statement than what Joseph declared to the Saints in Nauvoo, “We need temples more than anything else!” (History of the Church, 6:230)

A Tool in the Lord's Hands

I have been friends with Alan for as long as I can remember, way back in elementary school. We were never super good friends who talked all the time, but growing up we always hung out at school and pretty frequently hung out on weekends with all our common friends.

A little more than a year ago, Alan went on a mission. The fact that he went was a miracle in itself because his dad was in the hospital at the time; rumor was he could die. I was so proud of him for making the decision to still serve the Lord although this hardship had fallen on his family. He gave one of the most touching and amazing farewell talks I had ever heard, and I was touched deeply by it. We talked for about a half hour at his house afterwards, which was pretty impressive for us. It was really nice to just… talk. I told him of my plans to go to Ukraine in August and how I hoped it would come sooner. He told me about all sorts of things about him I never really knew before. It was great to have that last time with him. But that was the last I’d hear from him or he from me for a long time…

I ended up going to Ukraine less than 2 weeks after talking to Alan. I was there for 5 months, and during one of my last few weeks there I got the idea to write a bunch of my friends from high school and such that were now on missions. I had 5 in mind, but somehow only ever got to 4 of them. Needless to say, it was Alan whom I continued to put off—not on purpose, but just because I got so busy wanting to see everything I could since I was going home in less than a month at that point.

It wasn’t until almost 2 months after I had been home that I saw Alan’s mom in July at a friend’s wedding reception. We talked for a while, and she said I really should write Alan because he loved getting mail and would love to hear from me. I agreed and she gave me his address. I wrote him immediately that night, because I felt especially bad since I had planned to write him so much sooner. I finished the letter the next day and sealed it up. I brought it out to my car, so I wouldn’t forget it was there and would take it to the post office in one of the next few days… However, after a week, it somehow got lost. After 2 months of searching for that letter, I finally found it in the back seat of my car—somewhere I still don’t know how it got there. I got the feeling that I really needed to send it soon, so I immediately went to the post office and sent it off.

I didn’t expect to hear back from him honestly. Only one of the other 4 letters wrote back and in all honesty it was a pretty outdated letter at that point… by over 2 months. And as time went on I knew I wouldn’t hear from him. Or so I had assumed.

A few days ago, my dad came in with the mail. He tossed me a letter. I was expecting one from my missionary and instead was shocked to see “Elder Alan” on the front. I tore it open so quick. I had sent him that letter just shy of 6 months earlier, and I was so excited to see what he’d have to say. Mainly because I couldn’t even remember what I had written… ha ha. Anyway, here’s the whole point to this post.

First off, I was shocked at how long the letter was. Two pages front and back? Of England paper, which is longer than American 8 ½ x 11 inches. It was really impressive. And I seriously wondered what in the world he could talk to me that long about…

Once again, Alan touched me deeply. His letter… I’ll just have to share a couple excerpts to help you understand along with me commentary.

About the same time as I talked to Alan’s mom, Alan became senior companion for the first time. He got a new companion, and it was evident right from the get go that they did not get along. With that came constant contention, loads of self-criticism along with his companion also putting in his two cents. Not to mention the fact that the work was completely dead where he was at. “Rain or shine we were facing massive rejection every day. I felt absolutely hopeless. I was doing what I was supposed to do, but to be frank, hating my life. Obviously my prayers were full of pleading and begging for strength and help in this difficult time.”

Alan continues to talk about October General Conference. Apparently, it’s like Christmas for missionaries :) During one of the breaks between sessions, Alan’s district leader brought their mail to them. That day he got my letter. “I continued to open it up right then and there and read your letter. Heather, your letter was the answer to my prayers.”

Now I don’t want to go into too much detail about what he said to me or I to him, and I don’t say what little I do to toot my own horn either. But I said to him what I felt, clear back in July, needed to be said for some reason. I wanted him to know of the times during high school where I was grateful for him, when he was such a good friend to me, when I was least expecting it. And anything good and uplifting I could think of. I told him of the words Genshai and Namaste, words that I learned while I was in Ukraine that brought so much more meaning to my life. “It touched me a great deal. So much so that on my next missionary planner, I wrote on the back, Genshai and Namaste-Never treat anyone small or make them feel small- NOT EVEN YOURSELF! It was almost as if you knew exactly what I was going through.”

At the very end of his letter he said this: "Even though it took me so long to respond, the impact of your letter was real. I hope you are loving life! It's meant to be loved ya know. Always remember Genshai. I have till this day."

I suppose that, to a point, I understood what Alan was going through, but I can assure you that, seeing as I hadn’t heard a thing from him (I don’t even get the weekly emails forwarded to me or anything) in over 7 months, I did not know what he was going through. At that time when I wrote the letter, I was on a spiritual high. I was feeling so good (which is always the best time to write letters) and essentially, all I was, was a tool in the Lord’s hands. And I have never been so grateful for that in my entire life.

So the next time you get a prompting of sorts—bake cookies for a neighbor, call someone randomly for no apparent reason, write a letter to a dear friend you haven’t spoken to in years—DO IT. You never know what kind of effect it could have on them.