Can anyone really define this word? I know the dictionary tries, but "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard" and "a person who is on good terms with another; a person who isnot hostile" just doesn't do it justice, ya know? I had to learn the hard way what being a friend really is.
About a month ago, I had quite the run in with 3 of my best friends. I mean I've griped about things that have happened between us all before, just like with any other friend; no one is perfect and yet many of us get annoyed when they're not. As if we are. And well, we had a falling out of sorts, and it didn't end happily.
Tonight however, I got to thinking about them. I still looked at their facebooks via other people's to see how they were doing, what they were saying etc frequently, and tonight I just started to feel guilty. Horribly guilty. And I realized something; I am a crappy friend.
And that's when I figured it out. Being a friend isn't just doing things with someone. It's not just checking their facebook and stalking everything they say, or texting them to ask how they're doing. It's not just caring about them to a small degree; if that were the case, every person on this world would be my friend, because I have a tendency to care about everyone; even those who hurt me, abuse me, are rude to me and so forth. No, that's not friendship.
Friendship is:
Baking them cookies on a bad day.
Praying for them.
Forgiving them when they do do something you expect them not to.
Doing stupid things together.
Actually hanging out.
Texting genuinely, not "hey", "what's up" or "how you doin?"
Actually talking. Over the phone; or, heaven forbid, face to face.
Caring about someone more than yourself, because friendship is love.
I had to learn this the hard way. I had to learn that I was not really being any of those things, so I don't know why I expected it from any of them. Be someone you would want to be around, otherwise, why would anyone want to be around you?
I hope you just remember to cherish the friendships you have. Don't just try finding new ones day in and day out and let the old friendships fall to the wayside. Keep what you have, don't just continue looking for more, more, more. There's something beautiful in the here and now; enjoy it.
