Definition: Beauty

Let's take a quick drive down the road of Hollywood for a moment, shall we? I'll even let you have shotgun in my amazingly awesome, super sexy Aston Martin V12 Vanquish (shown here:

for your convenience), just so we look cool enough in the eyes of Hollywood. You know, since obviously what the world thinks is so important. Because, after all, it is the only thing that matters; haven't you jumped on that bandwagon yet? I mean, Ellen Degeneres says it perfectly in her recent Cover Girl commercial:

*close up of Ellen's face* "Inner beauty is important... but not nearly as important as outer beauty."

~End Scene for the Purpose of this Rant~

*screeching noise as Vanquish quickly stops and begins to careen wildly* Hold it.

She just said what?!

"Inner beauty is important, but not nearly as important as outer beauty." Please tell me I am going deaf and somehow missed the epic 90s "psych" clause made famous by Will Smith. There is no way she really said that. Is there?

Actually, there is.

That is Hollywood today people. Yup, it doesn't matter how awesome you are, if you're what the world claims to be ugly, you're screwed. That single zit on your right cheek? Yeah, sorry, you're no good. We'll toss you out like the rest of the rejects. Oh... those freckles... I'm sorry. There's just too many of them. You're going to have to go out to the back as well. And dear heavens; you weigh more than 105 pounds, and you're 5'8''?! You poor child. All that excess food you must be eating could feed all of Ethiopia.

I sincerely hope none of you honestly buy into this garbage, but sadly a very large percentage of people do. Nonetheless, I hope you rethink your thoughts on Hollyworld, because frankly, here's the "average" facts from multiple sources: The average U.S. woman is 5'4'' inches tall and weighs about 152 pounds. According to another source, the National Center for Health Statistics, the average weight for an adult woman is 162. 9 pounds. So here we have about a 10 pound difference, neither of which is anything close to Hollywood standards.

Now you're probably thinking, "That Cover Girl commercial had nothing to do with body weight. It's for make up." Well you're right. But here's the thing; it's all relative in this industry.

You can have the prettiest face in the world, but if you weigh more than what's "acceptable" then you're just not beautiful. This can also be reversed. You can also have the hottest body out there, but if your face isn't up to par, you also are not beautiful. At least, that's what Hollywood is trying to tell us.

Why are we letting these people, and in all honesty these evil people, control what beauty is defined as? Since when did inner beauty not matter as much as, if not more than, outer beauty? I mean, I know I'm not some hot looking celebrity, but I also know that I have some pretty awesome qualities and some things that make me plenty beautiful. And I don't need the fake world of Hollywood to define that for me.

Want the definition of beautiful from real people? Here's a few of many responses I got:

1. That smile of yours. You know the one; you're laughing at a joke and you can't help but grin and laugh.
2. Speaking of your laugh, that's another beautiful thing about you. I have not met one person who, with their real laugh, was not beautiful. Sure, it's not what everyone else claims is beautiful, but the real laugh of someone, meaning real joy in that moment, is beyond beautiful.
3. Honesty. True honesty.
4. Your pair of eyes. Whether it's the honey suckle brown, chocolate brown, muddy brown, the steel blue, the not so brilliant blue, emerald green, pea green, bright violet, turquoise, that green and brown mix of hazel or the kind that change color every day. Eyes are the window to the soul; beauty is found there no matter what. Everyone has them and every single one of them are beautiful.
5. Continuing with the idea of number 4: Their eyes, not because it is a physical feature, but they are as unique as a finger print, show ANY kind of emotion, and are the rare glimpse God gives us into each person's soul. :)
6. Confidence in oneself and their abilities. Able to love themselves despite human flaws.
7. You know that person who has amazing amounts of patience. The mother who takes her screaming children to the grocery store, the brother who lets their little sibling tag along with his friends etc.
8. In fact, mothers in general. I don't think there's much more beautiful than that.
   
9. I love when people listen to me and not just hear what I'm saying. I love having them pay attention, respond to my comments, and ask questions. I love talking to people and having them actually care about what I say :)
10. Giving and understanding others.
11. Hope.
12. A willingness to serve. Helping others in their times of need; I'm pretty sure Gandhi and Mother Theresa were some of the most beautiful people to walk the earth.
13. Humility, that understanding that they cannot do everything on their own. When a person is humble. They do everything out of the goodness of their heart and never expect anything in return. Now that is a great characteristic to have :)
14. How much their actions are a natural consequence of their attained level of charity. When someone is full of this character trait dealing with them is very easy because they have no agenda, they are truly without guile. I see this with my mother-in-law, she lives her life to serve others-it is beautiful.
15. Self-awareness. When you are around people who understand who they are, what their limitations and strengths are you are around an individual that you can rely on to be a true friend.
16. Love.
17. I love when I see people out, goofing around with little kids. The ability to let that inner child out and make little kids laugh, that's beautiful to me :)

If you notice, only 2 things listed up there were physical things-one which even said wasn't for physical reasons and the other is just our natural beauty as human beings. Can we please stop letting Hollywood have so much control? The number one response I got was a persons eyes; in case you'd overlooked this fact, everyone has those. And that is what most people think immediately when they think beautiful. Not a single person mentioned weight, or perfectly toned muscles, the clearest complexion, or anything Hollywood would have us think is "true beauty." Sure, I'll be the first to admit-I have to be physically attracted to whomever I marry because I don't want to wake up in the morning and scream at the hideous thing next to me. But at the same time, looking like someone who seems to have walked out of an Ambercombie and Fitch photo-shoot is not even close to the top of my priority list. What's inside matters more than any muscle-toned body and perfect complexioned skin every could.

The point is, if you see nothing else great, amazing and beautiful about yourself other than this, just remember: You are a child of God. The fact of the matter is you are of noble birth. And if you don't have at least some confidence on that alone, then you are in for one crazy ride here in life. Especially if Hollywood is driving that pretty Vanquish with you in the passenger seat.

Turn to the Lord

"When you find yourself missing someone so bad that it hurts, it's time to start depending on them a little less and depending on God a lot more."

Sometimes we don't know where to go when we are missing someone. We feel the need to cling tighter to that person, otherwise there's a possibility of losing them; this is not the case. If we were to just let loose a small amount and instead cling tighter to God, all things will work out as they should. And to use the Book of Mormon to back this up- Mosiah 7:33 reads:

"But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage."

Turn to the Lord, particularly when you are having a tough time in life, and he will deliver you out of bondage because He loves you.

The Book of Mormon

I just finished this book once again, only once in a handful of times where I have actually sat down and read it through. And just as it was true the first time I read it, it is still.

The Book of Mormon is true. It is the word of God, directed by His hand to lead and guide us in these Latter-days. The spirit is always there as I read and truly pay attention to what I am being told through the words on the pages. I'm so grateful for the knowledge that the restored gospel has the truth, through the Book of Mormon. And because it is true, everything that Joseph Smith said happened truly did happen. He saw God the Father and Jesus Christ the Son. He translated the Book of Mormon by the hand of God so that we may all be blessed by what is within the pages. I am truly blessed to have had this confirmation given to me and I thank God for it every day.

Priesthood Power

Recently, I felt pretty sick. I had been doing fine all day at work, but immediately after when I went to go Christmas shopping a splitting headache erupted. My vision began to blur and my face began to numb. In short, a major migraine was attacking me full force.

After sitting in complete pain, not just in my head but my entire body began to ache, I finally tried to relieve the nausea I was feeling. It didn't work.

My brother came home as I laid in my bed, hoping sleep would take over and cause me to feel better. But I just couldn't get past my drowsiness to actual sleep. I finally asked him for a blessing.

All I can really say is this; prayers were answered that night for me; prayers that had been prayed for for months. My dear brother didn't know about what trials I was facing, what questions I had been asking my Father on High. But He knew. Because He was listening. And through the power of His priesthood, He had made it possible for me to not only feel better, but receive the answers that I needed. I'm so grateful for worthy family members who hold the priesthood and are able to use it at a moments notice. It is such a blessing in my life.

All Things Are Possible to Him That Believeth

I had the most enlightening experience .

There is this thing that I do on ocassion that I have almost always hated. At first I thought it was a cool thing to do and in a way it was once gratifying I guess. But it has long since lost it's appeal and yet from time to time I still indulge myself in my past stupidity. Said stupidity used to be more frequent, but that frequency began to diminish as I continued to hate it. Now, I rarely do it, but it still bothers me profusely when I do. Like today. For years (yup, years) I keep saying to myself, "Oh well, this isn't going to change. It won't kill me by being stupid once in a while. And God isn't listening to me when I pray to get past this, so obviously it's not that big of a deal anyway." So basically, I have just prayed to God and expected Him to do the rest regardless. Or I would expect Doug to always say, "Don't do that, Heather!" when he was here. It was never about my will power; as you can see, I had none to speak of since I've given up so easily after all these years. I had thought that everything depended on others-my parents to teach me better, my siblings to treat me better, Doug to tell me no, Christ to just take this annoyance away. But I figured out today that it isn't any of that.

I was reading in the book "Broken Things to Mend" by Jeffrey R. Holland when I stumbled upon a scripture story and Elder Holland retells it with his own commentary. We've all heard the story: A father with an afflicted child first comes to the disciples, having a small amount of hope and faith that they can help. However, they could not provide the help needed and a shouting match is started amongst the disciples. This is when Christ walks onto the scene. The father then turns to Christ and with a weary, last resort kind of tone says:
"If thou canst do anything, have compassion on us, and help us.
"Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
"And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief" (Mark 9:14-24).

Elder Holland then adds his own remarks, which is what struck me. "Only now, in this exchange, does he [the father] grasp that a great deal of the answer to his quest rests upon his own shoulders, or, more accurately, in his own soul." It is not what the world will do for us, it is what we will do for ourselves! I hadn't thought, for some reason, that it is my own faith that determines whether or not Christ can help me. No matter how big, small, or insignificant the thing may be. Obviously I will never get entirely past this pet peeve of mine that I inherenetly hate if I don't have the faith I can do it. If I claim it is never going to change, then it never will. If I lack the faith and hope, then what cause does God or Christ have to do it? I have to have faith, I have to believe for things to happen. Inside, I guess I've aways known that, but it was never plainly stated to me quite like it was here by Elder Holland.

"All things are possible to him that believeth."
From now on, I will believe.

The Spirit of Charity

I had an amazing experience today, brought to me by my dad.

Somehow, I never noticed it before, but my dad is one of the most charitable people I've ever met. It's not the kind of charity that people normally think of; give large sums of money to some charity fund, or gives a whole bunch of clothes and shoes to some African fund. But my dad showed me and my whole family the perfect way to show charity toward a single person.

For Thanksgiving today, my dad invited a man over. Every morning, he works out with him for medical reasons. No one else in my family had ever seen or met him before, but my dad asked him to come over to my house for Thanksgiving dinner because he didn't have anywhere to go to celebrate.

This man has disabilities caused my an insane car wreck over 20 years ago that messed up the entire left side of his body. The functionality of his left arm isn't much and he has a constant limp. He had to learn how to do everything over again, as if he were growing up from being a baby. Walk, feed himself, talk... all of it. But now he does them all pretty well.

I got the chance to talk to him for about an hour while he was here. And I had such a wonderful experience. He is a smart man, even if hard of hearing from his accident. He is talkative and asks so many questions and honestly wants answers. And I enjoyed myself so much.

I hope we all can be more charitable toward one another and more willing to get to know others. You may be surprised by the things you find out, and the awesomeness that is meeting new people.

Worth More Than Rubies

For some reason, women as a whole have this thought that they aren't worth much. I mean, I know that I for one have thought/expressed this view on more than one occasion and I'm sure that most if not all women have felt that way. But why? Do we honestly not realize how much we are worth, how great we really are? Here's what Elder Scott had to say about it:

"So many of our sisters are disheartened, even discouraged, and disillusioned. Others are in serious trouble because of the choices they make. Satan has unleashed a seductive campaign to undermine the sanctity of womanhood, to deceive the daughters of God and divert them from their divine destiny. He well knows women are the compassionate, self-sacrificing, loving power that binds together the human family. He would focus their interests solely on their physical attributes and rob them of their exalting roles as wives and mothers."

We are divine. Do we understand that? My view on that is that we don't get it, not anything close to enough, but I want us to. I want us all to realize what we're worth, especially the women in our lives. All of us are worth something incredible, worth more than rubies. And we are divine.

To Struggle Through Prayer

Prayer is one of the fundamental parts of the gospel; it is a primary answer to all of our problems and is one of the few things that can ensure we are blessed by asking our Father for those blessings. Over the last couple of months however, my faith in prayer has been tried, as they were for the Nephites in Alma 58:7 and 10: “And it came to pass that we did wait in these difficult circumstances for the space of many months, even until we were about to perish… Therefore we did pour out our souls in prayer to God, that he would strengthen us and deliver us out of the hands of our enemies."
My enemies aren't physical as the Lamanites were for the Nephites, but my enemies are very strong. Mentally, I have a tendency to beat myself up. I don't think I'm good at anything, that I am at all attractive, that I really have much to give the world, although I try as best I can. And as such, I have little confidence in not only myself, but God as well sometimes. I'm not perfect, and I'm not going to act as though I have a perfect faith in my Father, because I don't. I've always struggled with that. And because of this lack of self confidence, I never know when or even if my prayers are being answered. Which brings me to my problem.
I've been prayer for months about what I should major in. Once upon a time I thought that Psychology was for me, and I pursued it. I've done well, my best classes this semester, but I still felt like something was missing. And that's when I felt like majoring in Photography would be really good for me. The problem, though, was whether or not I would even get in. The acceptance rate for the application and portfolio into the Photography major is 25-30%. In case you didn't know, that's really,really small. But praying hasn't really seemed to help me at all. Honestly, I feel... ignored.
I know, that's horrible. But I just can't help it. Or couldn't anyway. That was until I read a talk by Elder Scott from May 2007 that my missionary suggested to me. "He [the Lord] will always hear your prayers and will invariably answer them. However, His answers will seldom come while you are on your knees praying, even when you may plead for an immediate response. Rather, He will prompt you in quiet moments when the Spirit can most effectively touch your mind and heart. Hence, you should find periods of quiet time to recognize when you are being instructed and strengthened." I'm not being ignored. In a lot of ways, I'm shocked I ever let that thought even toy around in my mind. But even so, I was very annoyed that I was still struggling with receiving an answer from God. And that's when I read the next part of the talk that made everything make sense. "Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. Your character will grow; your faith will increase."
So really, it's all about my faith being increased. I'm not being ignored by God. He's not doing it to frustrate me or tick me off. He's trusting me, even if I don't trust myself entirely. "When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision."
I have never been more grateful for God and His constantly being there for me, listening to me and helping me.

Re·mem·ber, I Am Mindful of You Always

[RI-MEM-BER] V. TO RECALL TO THE MIND BY AN ACT OR EFFORT OF MEMORY; THINK OF AGAIN; TO RETAIN IN THE MEMORY; KEEP IN MIND; REMAIN AWARE OF.

This might be one of the most important words in the English language. I never realized it much before until a few months ago, but so much depends upon us remembering.

I've always been told I have such a crazy awesome memory, but honestly, that's not entirely true. Sure, I could tell you the day, up to the hour even, of when I had my first kiss. And all right, it's a rare thing for me to forget when it's someone's birthday. But a lot of the time, I forget the important things. The things that really matter. Trivial matters such as song lyrics, birthdays and random facts, sure; I'm full of them. But the things that honestly matter, I always seem to forget.

Take, for example, all my dreams and aspirations. I want to be a writer. I want to be a photographer. In fact, I want to major in photography with a minor in psychology. I want to teach seminary. I want to make a difference in the world, in the lives of others, particularly those whom I love most dearly. I want to be a mother of at least 5 amazing kids. I want to be the best I can be. I want to go to the temple and marry the man of my dreams. I want to be with Doug forever. I want to live with God again.

But somehow, these things get pushed back all the time. I don't remember any of these goals, and instead of working on them, I sit on facebook, playing Bejeweled Blitz, stalking other people's pages and being a creep. I spend hours reading pointless fanfiction that is basically babble and not even worth anyone's time. But occasionally I do something productive and write something of my own, or read a General Conference talk, I guess I could even consider creating this blog something worthwhile. Most of the time though I do nothing to achieve any of them. Why? Because I just... don't keep it in mind. I don't make the effort to think of it again.

Another point I never seem to remember; who I am. Now I know, that seems like it shouldn't be a hard one to remember, right? But I'm not talking about the fact that I'm half Norwegian, an eighth German, a sixteenth Swedish and so on. I mean it's kinda hard to forget some of those things unless I get a concussion. But I'm referring to inside, who I am. Not where my physical appearances came from, but my spirit. Being the teenage girl that I am, I have a tendency to forget that I am pretty darn awesome. Honestly. Ask God, He'll tell you. Granted, I have a hard time believing in that, but it's true nonetheless. Why? Because I am a daughter of God. Literally. And really, I think that's pretty darn awesome indeed. But I never seem to keep that in mind. I don't remember it. I push it back, just like my dreams, and don't work any magic with that knowledge.

The last thing I want to say is about remembering about those who care about and love you. For some reason, I still get the feeling that people don't really care about me a lot of the time. I think that at some point, that's a pretty universal feeling. But someone very dear to me told me to read a scripture on one of those days. The scripture gave me the title to this blog, to help me and you remember we are loved by someone. "I am mindful of you always in my prayers, continually praying unto God the Father in the name of his Holy Child, Jesus, that he, through his infinite goodness and grace, will keep you through the endurance of faith on his name to the end." While this scripture is actually from Mormon to his son Moroni, we can also use this for anyone that is loved by us, or who we are loved by. My best friend gave this to me while I was having a hard time, and this scripture reminded me that I am something to him. He is mindful of me always, and I know that. He helped me remember that.

This why "remember" is such an important word. Think about it; how awesome could you be if you always remembered this simple thing-I am a child of God. God is my father. Literally. I can look up at the stars in the heavens and say, "My Daddy made that. I'm gonna be like Him one day." How different would we act, how many things would we do, if we remembered that simple thing alone? Or remembered that people truly do care about us, no matter how hopeless things may seem.

So I say to you, "Remember." Remember the things that matter most. Remember who you are. Remember who loves you and what you can become. Remember the feelings you've felt, the good times you've had. Remember the good times and learn from the bad.

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become your actions." Keep in mind the things that are most important to you, and you'll achieve all you want and much, much more with the help of our Father and his son, Jesus Christ.